Can parents agree on joint digital app purchases?

Digital apps, from educational tools to entertainment or gaming subscriptions, have become integral in modern parenting. In shared custody arrangements, parents may need to decide whether to make joint digital app purchases or share responsibility for app subscriptions. This decision often involves balancing educational benefits, financial costs, the child’s interests, and the parents’ ability to control and monitor app usage. Coordinating these decisions in a way that aligns with the child’s development and supports both parents’ roles in their upbringing requires clear communication and agreement.

Measures to Agree on Joint Digital App Purchases in Custody

• Clear Communication on App Selection
  Parents should discuss and agree on the types of apps they believe are beneficial for their child’s growth. This could include educational apps, books, creative tools, or entertainment apps. Both parents should agree on the app's purpose, whether it enhances learning, creativity, or simply serves as entertainment.
• Defining the Financial Commitment
  Parents should agree on how to split the cost of digital apps and subscriptions. For example, they could decide to share the expenses 50/50, with one parent paying for a particular app purchase and the other covering the next. Alternatively, they could allocate a monthly budget for app-related purchases, ensuring that both parents are on the same page regarding costs.
• Setting Guidelines for App Usage
  While agreeing on the purchase, parents should also establish guidelines on the usage of these apps. This could include time limits, the content allowed (e.g., educational vs. recreational), and whether apps are only used under supervision or as part of a structured routine. Agreeing on parental control settings and app permissions should also be part of this process.
• App Monitoring and Permissions
  Parents can decide who will manage the app store accounts or digital platforms, such as Google Play or Apple App Store, to ensure both parents have equal control over purchases, updates, and permissions. For example, both parents could share access to the account or set up approval systems for new purchases, preventing one parent from making purchases without the other’s consent.
• Agreeing on Digital Screen Time Limits
  Along with agreeing on which apps to purchase, parents should also set mutually agreed-upon digital screen time limits. This includes specifying the maximum daily or weekly usage for educational and non-educational apps. Excessive screen time can impact a child's development, and balancing app time with physical activity and face-to-face interaction should be a priority in any parenting plan.
• Consideration of the Child’s Preferences
  The child’s input can also be factored into the decision, especially for older children who are already familiar with digital apps. Parents should consider whether the child has specific app preferences and if those preferences fit into the parents' guidelines for development and safety.
• Periodic Review of App Usage
  As part of their ongoing co-parenting arrangement, parents should periodically review the apps and subscriptions they’ve agreed to, making adjustments based on the child’s growth, educational progress, and changing interests. This ensures that the app purchases continue to serve the child’s best interests.

Common Issues with Joint Digital App Purchases in Custody

• Disagreement on App Types
  One parent may prefer purchasing apps that focus on entertainment, while the other parent may prioritize educational content. To resolve this, both parents should agree on a balanced selection of apps that contribute positively to the child's growth while allowing for some recreational use.
• Financial Disputes
  Disputes over who should bear the cost of app purchases can arise, especially if one parent is more financially burdened than the other. Parents should agree upfront on how the costs will be shared and keep track of all expenses to ensure that both are contributing fairly.
• Inconsistent Parental Controls
  If one parent manages the app account and does not implement appropriate security or monitoring tools, it can create conflicts. To prevent this, both parents should agree on a uniform set of parental controls and monitoring systems that allow both to supervise the child’s app usage equally.
• Changes in the Child’s Interests
  A child’s interests may evolve over time, leading to new app preferences. Parents should remain flexible and periodically reassess whether existing app purchases align with the child’s current interests and needs. If necessary, they should agree to cancel or swap out apps that no longer serve a constructive purpose.
• Limited Access to Certain Apps Across Devices
  Some apps may be tied to a specific device, making it difficult for the child to use the app seamlessly between the two households. Parents should choose apps or subscriptions that allow for multi-device access or agree on which devices will have access to particular apps.

Legal and Logistical Considerations for Joint Digital App Purchases

• Documenting Digital App Purchases in the Custody Plan
  If digital app purchases are a significant part of the child’s development, they may be included in the custody or parenting agreement. For instance, a parenting plan may specify that both parents agree to share the cost of educational apps or establish guidelines for recreational app usage.
• Budgeting for Digital Resources
  Digital purchases, especially subscription-based apps, can add up over time. Parents should factor these costs into their family budgeting and agree on a set monthly or annual budget for digital resources that aligns with both parents’ financial capacities.
• Reviewing Subscription Renewal Policies
  If a joint app purchase includes recurring subscriptions (such as for online learning tools or premium versions of apps), parents should agree on how to handle renewals. They may set reminders to review subscriptions before renewal dates or decide who will handle the payment at the time of renewal.
• Parental Agreements on Privacy and Security
  For digital apps that collect personal information (e.g., children’s learning apps), parents should agree on the data privacy terms and ensure that both households are in compliance with privacy laws (like COPPA in the U.S. or GDPR in the EU). Both parents should ensure that any shared digital platforms adhere to strict privacy guidelines and security measures.
• Flexibility for Changing Circumstances
  Given that custody arrangements can evolve (e.g., a parent moving or a child’s changing needs), parents should agree on how to handle new app purchases if there are changes in the custody schedule or living arrangements. They should be flexible in adjusting the routine to ensure that the child has access to necessary educational resources, regardless of household logistics.

Example

• Scenario:
  Jill and Tom share custody of their 10-year-old daughter, Lily. They agree to purchase a language-learning app for Lily that will help her improve her Spanish skills. The app has a monthly subscription cost, and both parents agree to split the cost equally. However, Jill prefers that Lily spends more time on educational apps, while Tom is more open to gaming apps as well.

Steps to Resolve the Issue:

• Discuss and Compromise on App Balance
  Jill and Tom should have a discussion to ensure that the purchase of the language app aligns with both their views on balancing education and entertainment. They might agree to also purchase a gaming app that incorporates educational features or set limits on how much time Lily can spend on non-educational apps.
• Set Clear Guidelines
  The parents agree on a schedule for Lily’s app usage, with a focus on the language app for 30 minutes each day and gaming for another 30 minutes, ensuring a balance of learning and entertainment.
• Financial Agreement
  Jill and Tom decide to divide the subscription costs and ensure that both contribute to future renewals. They create a reminder system to notify each other ahead of the renewal date and confirm if they will continue or cancel the subscription based on Lily’s progress.
• Monitoring
  Both parents install the app on their own devices and agree to monitor Lily’s progress regularly, ensuring that she is benefiting from the educational content and enjoying the recreational aspects in moderation.

By maintaining open communication and setting clear, mutually agreed-upon guidelines, Jill and Tom can ensure that their joint digital app purchases serve the best interests of their daughter, balancing both educational and entertainment needs.