Can Parents Mandate Mutual Approval of Gaming Content?

In today’s digital age, children are increasingly engaging with online content, including video games, apps, and social media. With the rise of gaming platforms, it’s natural for parents to worry about the types of games their children play and the potential impacts on their well-being. A growing number of parents are considering including provisions in custody agreements that require both parents to mutually approve gaming content before it’s accessible to their child. This can help ensure that the child is engaging with age-appropriate content and that both parents are involved in managing screen time and digital entertainment.

Benefits of Mutual Approval for Gaming Content:

• Ensuring Age-Appropriate Content: A mutual approval clause ensures that both parents actively participate in monitoring the types of games and apps their child accesses. By discussing and agreeing on what is suitable, parents can ensure the content is age-appropriate and aligns with family values.
• Promoting Digital Safety: With online games often containing chat functions, social interaction, and in-game purchases, mutual approval can help avoid exposing the child to inappropriate interactions, online bullying, or harmful content. Both parents can discuss potential safety concerns and set boundaries.
• Balanced Screen Time: A joint decision-making process encourages both parents to monitor and regulate the child’s screen time more effectively. This collaboration can help ensure that gaming doesn’t become a disruptive or excessive part of the child’s routine.
• Creating Consistent Guidelines Across Homes: If parents are involved in approving gaming content in both households, it reduces confusion for the child. The child will know that the same rules apply in both homes regarding game choice, helping maintain consistency in daily life.
• Strengthening Co-Parenting Communication: Engaging in regular discussions about gaming content requires parents to communicate and work together for the well-being of the child. This strengthens co-parenting, setting a collaborative tone for other parenting decisions.

How Mutual Approval Can Be Implemented in Custody Agreements:

• Clear Guidelines for Content Approval: The custody agreement can outline specific categories of games (e.g., action, adventure, educational, etc.) or set restrictions based on game ratings (e.g., ESRB ratings, PEGI ratings) to ensure that both parents approve before a game is purchased or downloaded.
• Regular Communication About New Content: The agreement could require that both parents be notified whenever the child expresses interest in a new game or app. This ensures that the child is not exposed to inappropriate content without the parents' knowledge.
• Setting Up Parental Controls and Monitoring Tools: The agreement might suggest or require the use of parental control software that helps both parents monitor what the child is playing. This could include settings on gaming consoles, smartphones, and computers that block certain content or games based on ratings and categories.
• Incorporating Child’s Input: As children grow older, they may develop preferences for specific types of games. The agreement can specify that the child’s interests be taken into account, but only after both parents have reviewed and approved the content.
• Review and Update Provisions as the Child Grows: The gaming preferences and maturity level of the child will evolve over time. The custody agreement could include provisions for reviewing the gaming guidelines regularly (e.g., annually) to ensure they remain appropriate as the child matures.

Potential Challenges or Drawbacks:

• Disagreement Between Parents: One of the major challenges of mutual approval is the potential for disagreements between parents. Differences in opinion on what games are suitable or appropriate can lead to conflict, which could negatively impact the child’s well-being if it escalates.
• Restricting Child Autonomy: While protecting the child from inappropriate content is important, overly restrictive provisions could infringe on the child’s autonomy and their ability to make decisions. This could cause frustration or resentment, especially as the child gets older and becomes more independent.
• Time-Consuming and Impractical: Constantly needing mutual approval for every game the child wants to play could be time-consuming, especially if both parents are busy or if the child frequently expresses interest in new content. This may become impractical for the parents to manage effectively, particularly if there is a lot of back-and-forth.
• Possible Lack of Enforcement: Even if the agreement specifies mutual approval, enforcing such provisions might be difficult, especially if one parent bypasses the system or purchases games without consulting the other. This could create confusion and tension for the child.

Balancing Appropriateness and Freedom:

• Incorporating Flexibility: The agreement should allow for flexibility in cases where the child may want to play a game that one parent hasn’t approved but is deemed appropriate by the other. This might involve setting up a formal system to resolve disagreements (e.g., consulting a child psychologist, looking up reviews, or checking content ratings).
• Gradual Increase in Autonomy: As the child grows, they may be capable of making more informed decisions about the games they want to play. The mutual approval clause could evolve over time, allowing for more freedom in their choices as they mature, perhaps with less supervision as the child reaches adolescence.

Example:

Emily and Mark share custody of their 10-year-old son, Alex. They want to ensure that Alex’s gaming habits remain healthy, and the games he plays are appropriate for his age. To achieve this, they include a clause in their custody agreement that requires mutual approval of all new games Alex wishes to download or play.

Steps Emily and Mark take:

• Emily and Mark agree to review game ratings before Alex can purchase any new games. They decide that games rated E for Everyone or T for Teen are appropriate.
• When Alex asks to download a new game, both parents are notified and must give approval before the download is allowed.
• They use parental controls on Alex’s gaming console to restrict access to games with higher ratings or inappropriate content.
• Emily and Mark review Alex’s gaming content every few months to ensure it aligns with their values and is age-appropriate.
• If Alex wants to try a game outside the approved list, they agree to discuss it together and make an informed decision based on content reviews.

Conclusion:

Including a provision for mutual approval of gaming content in a custody agreement can provide both parents with a sense of control over their child’s digital entertainment and ensure that the child is exposed to age-appropriate content. It can promote collaboration between parents and help ensure the child’s digital safety. However, it is essential to strike a balance between protection and autonomy, allowing for flexibility as the child grows and their gaming preferences evolve.